For those of you who don’t know Ruby, she is one of the UK’s best known make-up artists. She’s a brand creator (remember Ruby & Millie? It earned her an MBE). And she’s in her mid 50’s and looks absolutely incredible. A walking advert for self care and healthy living.
But way more important than any of this? She has a generous and beautiful soul.
The November before last I went to a beauty industry event. I was wearing a black Alberta Ferretti dress that had been adjusted to fit Jo Whiley and Jo didn’t ever come to collect it from the Elle offices. So I have been ‘looking after’ said dress ever since. It has always been on the small size (breathing optional). Now it was scarily loose. Why? Because I was mid spilt and I was dropping weight so fast even my knickers didn’t fit.
At this stage I had told very few people about my heartache, and not a soul in the industry. As soon as Ruby saw me she wrapped her arms around me and asked me what had happened? She just knew. She told me she could see my despair and and that something similarly unexpected and devastating had happened to her years ago. She acknowledged that the pain felt like no other, but told me it would get better, it would pass and I would find happiness again.
She showed me the kindness you receive if you are brave enough to open up to people.
Below we talk about love and loss and how taking a shower really is an essential step to recovery.
Rosie: Why is it important to share our experiences of heartbreak?
Ruby: If we don’t share these experiences they remain a taboo. When I saw you I knew you were right in it. I wanted to hold your hand and say you will get through it. I knew it would give you strength to know you were not alone in your experience. That you aren’t the only woman whose husband suddenly doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore.
Rosie: Do you think it’s about giving hope?
Ruby: Partly. I remember saying to you ‘I’m standing here in front of you as an example, but it will pass and you will be okay. You aren’t the first person or the last.’ I used think about all the other women who it had happened to. It happens whatever you look like, however successful you are, or however rich. Look at Princess Diana.
Rosie: Did you bounce back quickly?
Ruby: Listen, I lay under the duvet for three days, didn’t wash, didn’t brush my hair. I don’t want people to think I’m some bastion of discipline.
Rosie: Do you think self care – exercise, massages, using nice smelling products makes you feel better.
Ruby: Absolutely, when I made myself get up and get into the shower, wash my hair and put some make-up on I was saying to myself I’m not worthless, I’m valuable.
Rosie: What else got you through?
Ruby: My mum suggested meditation to try and calm my thoughts. I’d done it years ago – but not very well. My Indian guru gave me a mantra, which I repeated and it allowed me to keep my emotions at an even keel. Oh and watching comedies. Anything to distract yourself from the pain.
Rosie: What happened to you physically?
Ruby: I lost so much weight. I couldn’t eat. But when you are not eating and not sleeping you feel out of control. YOU NEED TO EAT to regain your strength.
Ruby has used her experience and passion for beauty and wellbeing to develop an ever evolving range of beauty must haves to enhance your beauty regime. Here at LifesRosie we particularly love her magnetic brush set click here.
Follow Ruby on Instagram @rubyhammer