He was having an affair with my best friend.

Dear Rosie

Hi. I don’t suppose you manage to read all your emails so if this ends up in spam so be it, but I felt compelled to email as I was very moved by your recent articles about the end of your marriage and how you have managed the situation.

The feelings you describe are exactly how I have felt in a similar situation and I wanted to say you are not alone and thank you for speaking so honestly, it’s helpful to other people, it really is!

My husband of 13 years moved myself and twin daughters to Luxembourg for his work, we left our whole lives, I left my job, friends, home etc. 4 months later he ended our marriage and was having an affair with my best friend in Luxembourg (his work colleague’s wife), became extremely abusive and we had to flee the country and return to the UK with a suitcase just over a year ago. I’ve returned to my hometown, not where we lived before and sought refuge with my parents.

It’s been the worst period of my life in so many ways, surviving financially (wealthy husband not giving any money), managing my now 10 year old twin daughters emotions, trying and sometimes failing to keep a handle on my own, getting a job and maintaining some kind of professional demeanour whilst crumbling inside, managing a heinous divorce, narcissistic husband- it’s undeniably crappy and my husband has left the building, moved on/in with new woman, her kids, in our marital bed, the levels of hurt, betrayal and cruelty are unquantifiable.

But, you are right, there are also fantastic people around who have picked me up, dusted me down, shown kindness and understanding and taken us under their wing whilst we try and heal and “move on”, don’t you love that phrase!

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Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about what you’ve gone through, but it makes us all feel stronger to see someone more than managing a horrible situation with aplomb and even humour, so thank you. I’m spending the first Christmas without my daughters which is yet another layer of pain, but I’m ok, a glass of baileys and friends help I find.

Happy Christmas! Hope 2020 is better.

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