I still love him…

Hi Rosie,

I’ve followed you for a while. I think we were going through divorce/separation at the same time.

What do you do when you know you’ve f****d yourself??

I’m still in love with him.

We were married 18 years and together for 20, but in the latter few years things were difficult; financial worries and long working hours meant we didn’t spend enough time together. I wanted out because I thought we weren’t making each other happy, but I know he didn’t. However, he ended up having an affair. Men don’t have affairs if they are happy I know that. I was obviously furious, when I found out I started divorce proceedings. Over time though I have accepted that we were both to blame.

We are now divorced and he’s still with the woman he had the affair with. My 2 wonderful boys have a good relationship with us both, but I miss him. I think it’s the length of time we were together, and it wasn’t obviously all bad. We have a better relationship now, but I suppose I miss the family unit and I struggle to accept the other woman, although I pretend I do.

I’m a strong independent woman who has good job, my own house, financially secure, but can’t help thinking ‘if only we’d tried harder’.