Is it possible for a man to just forget…?

Hi Rosie,

It’s been 19 months since my husband and I split. Married for 19 years, he had always seemed so content and devoted. The divorce came through 5 months ago. I’ve moved to a new house with our 20 and 18 year old daughters. I stopped speaking to him 4 months ago, as it was too painful still having contact. He moved on so quickly. Is it really possible for a man to just forget about their partner and life they’ve lived for the last 20 years? Why can’t I move on? I’ve met some lovely men through apps, but I can’t let go yet. I feel emotionally numb. Will this ever change?

I still am in shock from the divorce. My daughters and I were his world. I’d not really doubted his love and attraction for me. The last 2 years of our marriage had been more strained I guess. Looking back I would say during the final 5 months he emotionally withdrew, but it still didn’t seem enough for him to give up on us, especially given how much he had always seemed to love me and how content he seemed. To me it was just a bad patch that we should have got through. It didn’t and never will make sense. Even if he’d met someone else I still don’t get how that could be better than what we had. Is this new version of him devoid of feelings? He’d been a warm and emotional man previously. I feel like I’m in all this emotional grief, and he’s just happy. I don’t deserve this ☹️